Sparkling waters, Buffelspoort ★

Coffee kit - free

They make it sound so appealing - "coffee and tea will be served in your room at 5 during the turn down service". What you actually get is a quick delivery of a little box kit of DIY coffee and a tea bag.
After a bit of assembly you're left with a watery cup of not unpleasant medium roast, quite bitter on first encounter; it tapers off into a disappointing sizzle. Not much of a sparkle, more of a wet match, but it provides some entertainment while waiting for the dinner gong.
Still, this is a beautiful resort with enough activities like minigolf, tennis, and a big pool.
They do sneak in when you're not there and put a mint on your pillow and fill the ice jug with the yummiest water ever.

The staff are noisy all the time, and don't quite get the "don't mop under the customer's feet, don't use power tools next to someone sitting relaxing in the lounge" rule. Even the manager interupts and sidetracks the staff for over 5 minutes literally while the staff are speaking to customers, leaving customers bewildered and feeling like second class citizens.
The price of R700 per night sounds like a lot for a 3Star joint but it does include Dinner, Bed, and Breakfast (although one would think Bed would be implied unless they have a Chair Lunch Snack option). Chalets are very spacious with uber giant showers - truly added a watery sparkle to an otherwise fizzled stay.